There is no "try" only do, or not do (Master Yoda)
Recently someone said to me, “I need to learn to relax”, after apologizing for laughing at the remark, I poised the comment, “Realize that you can’t learn to relax, you need to un-learn being discontent.”
When things are going well, they just flow correctly. A pro athlete never forces anything; neither does a pro musician, or an artist. If they did, you could tell it was not quite right. When things flow from your heart it is true and correct and it shows. When we are balanced within and we are in harmony with our surroundings there is no “effort”
Every time I “try real hard” in life, I usually mess things up. So will you if you don’t understand the principle of “Non Striving”
Among the basic Taoist principles that can improve our lives “Wu Wei” is the most important and pervasive concept of all. Not forcing things seems like an obvious concept to most of us and yet our competitive nature often encourages us to do so. It’s not that “force” is a bad thing but unnaturally forcing things usually is. Make things right with the universe and effortlessness is an indication that you “get it”.
Any feeling of “forcing”, “striving” or “contrivance” tells you that you do not get “it”.
The “it” I am referring to is the understanding that you are (or not) coming from your heart. Do not think this is easy however, I’m no Pollyanna; you might say “It’s simple, it’s just not easy”. The Tao Te Ching is full of commentary on this subject in fact almost every one of the 81 verses contains a statement about Wu Wei.
“The sage does nothing and yet nothing remains undone”
“My way is simple, yet no one can follow it”
“An infant can follow the way. But can an eighty year old?”
“To manage a large country is like frying a small fish, the less you poke it the better.”
“The sage leads by following”
“Water is the softest thing in the universe yet it overcomes the hardest things”
“The greatest misfortune is discontentment.”
“The sage never contrives greatness that is why he is truly great”
The other day someone said to me, “I was told (by a qigong teacher) to force the qi downward during qigong”, holding back a laugh I smiled and went on to explain “Wu Wei” a guiding principle.
When we relax, the qi will flow effortlessly, using “force” causes muscle tension that uses up more qi then it allows to pass through, resulting in less movement of the qi.
Again I recommend getting your very own copy of the Tao Te Ching (see my reading list) the philosophy of Taoism provides a foundation for understanding reality.
First, learn all you can; then forget it all. Learning is prejudice and contrived and will limit you. Having expectations can lead one to disaster. Knowledge is only a starting point, when we apply the principle of “Wu Wei” we turn knowledge into something far more valuable…Understanding
Taiji on Maui 
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